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"So you don't get annoyed when people negotiate salary with you?" "Not at all. On the contrary, it indicates a self-assurance and confidence that I value very highly in our employees."
There we have it, right from the mouth of someone who hires lots of people. Whether we're negotiating with an employer, a landlord, or anyone else, we've been brainwashed into believing that if we stand up and bargain for ourselves we'll make enemies, make a bad impression and ruin any chance of getting along.
Well, all those awful things will not come to pass. It simply isn't true that we'll make enemies by negotiating. As my friend the manager showed us, negotiating for ourselves doesn't reflect badly on us in the least. All it reflects is a sense of self-worth and a positive approach toward life.
Also keep this in mind: First impressions die hard. Once we've been tagged as patsies, it can be awfully hard to shake the label. The more firmly entrenched we get in the role of a patsy, the harder it becomes for us to break out and stand up for ourselves.
Negotiating Ethically But Firmly Will Not Injure A Relationship
Donald at the newspaper stopped himself from negotiating with Jeanne because he was afraid of upsetting the applecart. He had a good rapport with his boss, and he was afraid he'd really disrupt it if he suddenly changed his style and began asserting his own needs. For her part, Jeanne probably reinforced his fear by continuously talking about "team effort" and how wonderful it was that "we're just one big happy family."
If you find yourself in a like predicament, try to step back and put it all in perspective. Are you really out to wreck this person's world? No. Do you really want to upset the whole applecart? No. All you want are the apples you deserve. The other person, of course, may try to "guilt-peddle" you into thinking that you are upsetting the whole applecart, hoping to make you retreat from your position. Don't pay any mind. Stand firm. Once you clearly establish that you're not backing off, the other person will have to negotiate with you. The nature of your relationship may change as they realize you're no longer a pushover, but the change will be a positive one. The end result will be a relationship based on mutual respect, not one-sided manipulation.
Fear of Being The Bad Guy
If Paul could've brought himself to say, "That's a little more than I was looking to pay for a car," Bill surely would've come down from $1,300. Why did Paul leave himself no chance of shaving some bucks off the price? He was afraid of switching hats, that is, of exchanging the nice white hat of friendly banter for what he saw as the black hat of give-and-take bargaining.
Nonsense. Bill was expecting a negotiation. Of course, it is a really good idea to build a positive relationship at the start of any negotiation. Once that is done, however, it is normal to move into hard bargaining. Hard bargaining can and should be conducted in a friendly manner but it is still hard bargaining and it is fully appropriate.
So Lets Negotiate - Only Good Things Will Happen If You Do
When we play a game like tennis or chess, we play to win, and if we succeed, we don't make an enemy in the process. The same is true of negotiation. We're out to meet our needs and we give it all we've got, but when it's over, that's it. As long as we keep it friendly and don't pull out any dirty tricks, there's no reason in the world that a negotiation should engender any bad feelings or result in any ongoing enmity. So go for it; you're merely attempting to fulfill your own legitimate need
-- By Michael Schatzki
Michael Schatzki is a master negotiator whose high energy, content-packed keynotes, breakout sessions and seminars draw rave reviews. His Negotiation Dynamics® system offers sales professionals a powerful set of tools that will give them a critical edge in organizing and structuring all of their negotiations. The Negotiation Dynamics® system really works! More than 75% of Mike's programs are for satisfied repeat customers who find him to be a dynamic, entertaining speaker and trainer. Mike's new CD audio set, "The Master Sales Negotiator" was a hit even before it was published with one company buying 170 copies for their entire sales force after hearing a beta version. Contact Negotiation Dynamics at (888) 766-3530, or www.NegotiationDynamics.com .
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