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Selling is everyone’s lifeblood whether they realize it or not. We all sell in the sense that we attempt to convince others to go our way. That is the way that we want something to go whether we are convincing our children, our coworkers, bosses, spouses, clients or customers.
There is a style of convincing others, influencing or “selling” for everyone. Understand we are using the term “selling” here very loosely. I bet many of you are saying, “I don’t sell people. I hate that!” Although this may sound like it’s about sales, it really isn’t. You’ll understand shortly but indulge me for a minute. There are several types of popular styles of selling: relationship selling, non-manipulative selling, pressure selling, what’s-important-about-that-to-you selling. Whatever approach and philosophy that works for you is fine. Actually, we’re not trying to change your personal style of selling. But if we can give you additional insight to influencing others regardless of who they are, would that be helpful? “Yes.”
Let me ask you, when you really connect with someone, isn’t that a wonderful experience? When this happens, you connect with them and feel closer in a shorter period of time then with someone else you may have known for years. What happens here? You click, connect, have great rapport, and there may even be chemistry between you. You know you are being heard and listened too. Wow, isn’t that wonderful when it happens! Wouldn’t it be great if we could increase our opportunities to connect with each other in general? It can be done.
There is a universal unspoken language based on observable behavior. What that means is, we can see the behavior just by watching others. We look for tone of voice, pace, body language and words used. These are the clues that help us to identify how to communicate better with that person.
Research has shown that behavioral characteristics can be grouped together into four quadrants or styles. People with similar styles tend to exhibit specific types of behavior common to that style. A person’s behavior is a reflection of who they are naturally. According to William A. Marston, “All people exhibit all four behavioral factors in varying degrees of intensity.”
This model categorizes how we act. Nothing more. It is simply used as a tool for more effective communications between people. Sound good? You bet.
In all the cultures studied, the model has been found to be valid. All cultures have people who are outgoing, expressive and animated. All cultures have people who are more cool, aloof, introverted and analytical. Ask yourself, is this person people-oriented or task-oriented? Are they an introvert or an extrovert? Because you can learn to see the answers, it is observable. It is a universal language because it has no cultural boundaries. Are you intrigued?
You’re probably saying, that’s all great but how does this apply to me getting my way? Oh, we are so self-centered at times. When you are getting your way, I trust it is for the benefit of all who are affected by the decision. Because what we are talking about is not for self-centeredness, manipulation or control.
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